Mother's Day-Without a Mom

Dear Mom,
This is going to be my first Mother's Day without you. And frankly, it makes me really sad. While I am happy that I had you in my life for 27 years, it just feels strange to be this young and be celebrating this special day without you here with me.
I have so many mixed emotions going into this day. On one hand, I want to celebrate the amazing Mom I had. To tell everyone how awesome you were and how blessed I feel to have had you in my life. On the other hand, I want to scream at the top of my lungs how unfair it is to not have my Mom anymore. I want to sit in a corner and cry and not talk to anybody. I just want to be sad and miss you.
But I also have so many things to be grateful for. Most of all, I feel so blessed to be pregnant with your grandchild. I know that you played a large part in my having this baby. I know it was your way of reaching out to me and letting me know that you are still around me and watching over me. The bond I feel with this child is like nothing I have ever experienced. Now, I sort of feel the way you felt about me and the love you have for me.
I hope you are playing with my son and letting him know how much you love him and giving him all the love you can while he can still be with you. I hope he has the blonde hair and blue eyes you were always hoping for in a grandchild. I know that as I raise him and watch him grow that you will be there in spirit helping me know what to do.
As I become a Mother and love my son and teach him all the things he should know, I hope you are proud of me. Thank you for giving me love and being such a good example of what a mother should be. I love you and I am so fortunate to be your daughter.

Love Always and Forever,

Sarah